


Envy to the Embers

by Artemis85



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Communication Failure, Depends on what you think happy is, Emotionally Repressed, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hunter X Hunter 2011 - Freeform, Hunter x Hunter - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, I'm gonna need my dude to end this hiatus, Implied Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, No Spoilers, Oblivious Gon Freecs, Takes place after Chairman Arc, hxh - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 08:42:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15659739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis85/pseuds/Artemis85
Summary: Killua does not remember the green haired boy. He thinks that may be best. (Killugon if you squint. I read this story about Killua having his memories taken by his family and becoming an assassin, then meeting Gon again, and I couldn't resist.)





	Envy to the Embers

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my google docs for the longest. Please review. Tell me who you think said what in the dialogue piece you're about to read. I like to think either of them could have said either sentence and it still could have been true to their character and emotions.

"Stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like you want to take me apart!"

"Who's to say I don't?"

Killua doesn't remember the green haired boy who takes the world for granted, for promised, because he never met a mountain he couldn't move. Because he sees the green of the Earth and thinks that he owns it just because it matches his hair.

Killua makes sure to never wear green. Okay, maybe just a green watch every now and then.

Only because when he wears such things he sees the boy's eyes burn like blazing forests, like something that could have been.

He doesn't know how he feels about the could -haves but he loves the feel of the flames.

He doesn't remember this boy who dared approach him. Who dares speak his name with familiarity and longing. He doesn't remember if the boy's hair felt like grass or if he used to see stars in this boy's haunted eyes. He doesn't remember. He feels, though. He feels wet cheeks on cold, nameless bathroom floors. Lightning bouncing off of walls, knives in wall sockets.

He remembers something. Something.

He remembers pain. He remembers feeling he was stolen from himself. He thinks this boy, Gon, the thief.

No, no. The theft had a certain finesse. It takes skill to take a diamond from a steel trap, you know. Even more to get it to break. It took focus, patience.

He can't see this green boy stealing. He seems him demanding. Bellowing till all that is his is given back.

Or he seems him not asking at all. He sees others bent to his will like leaves in the wind. That sort of life doesn't brew a patient pupil.  
A dark chuckle resonates with. 'As if you didn't give him the key.'

The thought hurts. It hurts and not just in his head anymore. So, he lets it go.

He remembers another needle...Another?

Yes, another. Going deeper and deeper.

He does not remember this boy but he feels he could find a galaxy within this entity. He wonders if it would feel like finding home. He bets he could increase the Zoldyck family wealth with the jewels he finds there.

Killua looks at him, at this child longing for his old toy, seeing that he broke it somehow. He looks at this kid with vapid eyes staring out of the window of the hotel room that Killua doesn't know why he let himself be dragged too. He stares with these eyes that see everything and nothing. Tiny glints in the glass of his irises that suggest he's seen too much too often.  
Now, the boy stares at the watch, not wanting to let Killua's sleeve snatch it from his sight, like he'd made that mistake before sometime.

He supposes he can spare the kid a few more days. Maybe a week or two.

Wouldn't be the first time he'd gone rogue. He could still reach the target before daddy dearest noticed.

And if any questions are asked? Well, Killua would just say he loved the burn.


End file.
